Wednesday, March 10, 2010

on escapes

For me, spring break has been about escaping. However, one can only escape from his/her life so much. Things follow you wherever you go. The stress of paying for school, the stress of getting good grades, the stress of finding a job, the stress of relationships; all of these things are elements in my life from which I seek to escape.

I've tried to escape through reading. A good story is a great way to fill your mind with things other than responsibilities. I've been re-reading Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald and allowing him to whisk me away to the French Riviera. However, I can only stay there for so long before reality comes in a phone call and wakes me from my dream.

I've tried to escape through movies. For those two hours, your mind is consumed by the characters and their actions, whether comedic or dramatic. However lately, movies have failed to enrapture me in their stories like they used to. I haven't had a problem stopping a movie half-way finished or even simply falling asleep. What happened to my immediate departure I formerly achieved from movies. That said, if the movie is just right, I can still find my escape.

I've tried to escape through relationships. The last week has been consumed by time spent with friends. The conversation is always great. While these interactions are enjoyable, I always end up coming back to realities amidst the enjoyment. A word, a question, a look, a thought, and it's all downhill from there.

I want these things to be resolved. I want my grades to be cemented but my education to continue. I want my career to be solidified. I want to be financially stable. I want my relationships to be smooth sailing. This however, is contrary to the realities I must return to every day.